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Post by The Squeezed Middle on Oct 16, 2022 7:40:11 GMT
Secret footage reveals abuse of woman with dementia at luxury UK care home An 88-year-old woman with dementia was physically and mentally abused at a luxury care home charging residents close to £100,000 a year, the Guardian can reveal... £100k a year? Look on the brightside, Morgan - you come on here and get abused for free.  |
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Post by Morgan on Oct 16, 2022 8:45:04 GMT
Secret footage reveals abuse of woman with dementia at luxury UK care home An 88-year-old woman with dementia was physically and mentally abused at a luxury care home charging residents close to £100,000 a year, the Guardian can reveal... £100k a year? Look on the brightside, Morgan - you come on here and get abused for free. Yep. And I love every minute of it, turning it all around and making even bigger fools of posters like than you already do yourselves.  Edit - And having carefully considered your post, I must say it takes a pretty strange set of values to try to make a joke out of this poor woman's suffering. |
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Post by The Squeezed Middle on Oct 16, 2022 9:40:12 GMT
Oh look everyone - it's the faux moral highground. |
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Post by Montegriffo on Oct 16, 2022 10:16:50 GMT
Oh look everyone - it's the faux moral highground. You need the wind you get up there to unfurl the double standard. |
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Post by Red Rackham on Oct 16, 2022 10:24:59 GMT
It makes me wonder how widespread this is. It's one of the reasons we insisted my mother-in-law who had dementia bless her, came to live with us. It was hard work especially for Mrs R, but she was family and we loved her. She was a frail confused 84 years old woman, so our mission was to make her as comfortable as possible, and we did. Knowing how difficult it is to look after someone with dementia makes me wonder whether abuse in care homes where there is no relationship between carers and patients, is far more widespread than we think. I don't like to even think about it. My mother will probably only get one more Christmas in her own home. Initially social services wanted mum-in-law who was a widow to move into an old people's home, this didn't just upset her it frightened her, so we insisted she came to live with us. They came to have a look at our home, which quite annoyed me, presumably to see whether it was suitable for an old lady with dementia. We made a few changes nothing too drastic, she had her own room and being a bungalow everything was on one floor so no stairs or steps to negotiate. Sadly Mrs R had to leave work and a job she enjoyed to become a full time carer, but the arrangement worked. It was hard work especially for Mrs R, and a real eye opener. It's difficult to imagine how hard it is caring for someone with dementia. I'm filling up just thinking about it, it's the cruellest of illnesses. |
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Post by Cartertonian on Oct 16, 2022 10:33:52 GMT
We had a similar - and similarly distressing - experience with my father-in-law, Red. He developed Lewy Body Dementia in his early sixties and he came to live with us for as long as we could manage, but then after another serious downturn he ended up in a care home full of octogenarians as a sixty-two year old. It was horrific and he died four years later. My respect for you has gone up quite a few notches for your endeavour.
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Post by Montegriffo on Oct 16, 2022 11:01:06 GMT
I don't like to even think about it. My mother will probably only get one more Christmas in her own home. Initially social services wanted mum-in-law who was a widow to move into an old people's home, this didn't just upset her it frightened her, so we insisted she came to live with us. They came to have a look at our home, which quite annoyed me, presumably to see whether it was suitable for an old lady with dementia. We made a few changes nothing too drastic, she had her own room and being a bungalow everything was on one floor so no stairs or steps to negotiate. Sadly Mrs R had to leave work and a job she enjoyed to become a full time carer, but the arrangement worked. It was hard work especially for Mrs R, and a real eye opener. It's difficult to imagine how hard it is caring for someone with dementia. I'm filling up just thinking about it, it's the cruellest of illnesses. Luckily Mum's fella is ten years younger and devoted to her. He's talking about a Stena Stairlift so they can stay in the same home they have had together for over 20 years. I worry as much about him as I do mum though. It's exhausting for him. They have both worked hard all their lives and they really deserved a better retirement. I do what I can, I'm going over this afternoon so the he can attend a doctor's appointment. My sister and I both live nearby. |
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Post by Red Rackham on Oct 16, 2022 11:05:24 GMT
We had a similar - and similarly distressing - experience with my father-in-law, Red. He developed Lewy Body Dementia in his early sixties and he came to live with us for as long as we could manage, but then after another serious downturn he ended up in a care home full of octogenarians as a sixty-two year old. It was horrific and he died four years later. My respect for you has gone up quite a few notches for your endeavour. Early sixties, good heavens that's young. Mum-in-law developed vascular dementia in her late 70's. After she moved in with us social services would visit fairly regularly and they always hinted she would be better off in a care home, but we were determined to look after her. However, as her illness got steadily worse it became obvious even to us that we couldn't cope, in the end social services took the decision out of our hands. She died seven months after moving to a care home, and tbh I think death came as a blessed relief for her. She didn't recognise anyone and had no quality of life at all. |
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Post by brexitcrusader83 on Oct 17, 2022 6:49:10 GMT
Their was a panorama special on the other night about abuse in care homes.
They were investigating abuse in the UKs biggest care home. Some of the vile stuff these OAPs go through just sickens me.
Some of these people lived through the wars. Paid taxes the whole of their lives.
They should be enjoying what's left of there natural lives. Not putting up with vile abuse from sickos.
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Post by Handyman on Oct 17, 2022 9:20:46 GMT
We had a similar - and similarly distressing - experience with my father-in-law, Red. He developed Lewy Body Dementia in his early sixties and he came to live with us for as long as we could manage, but then after another serious downturn he ended up in a care home full of octogenarians as a sixty-two year old. It was horrific and he died four years later. My respect for you has gone up quite a few notches for your endeavour. Early sixties, good heavens that's young. Mum-in-law developed vascular dementia in her late 70's. After she moved in with us social services would visit fairly regularly and they always hinted she would be better off in a care home, but we were determined to look after her. However, as her illness got steadily worse it became obvious even to us that we couldn't cope, in the end social services took the decision out of our hands. She died seven months after moving to a care home, and tbh I think death came as a blessed relief for her. She didn't recognise anyone and had no quality of life at all. Even younger than that, www.healthline.com/health/dementia/early-warning-signsMy Mother showed signs of Dementia in her early 70's, she is in a Nursing Home, she has no idea who she is where she is hardly speaks if at all just stares into space, she will be 90 years old next month, it is heart breaking to see her like that how she feels we just don't know |
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Post by Red Rackham on Oct 17, 2022 9:40:30 GMT
Your mum has my sympathy Handyman, as indeed you do. Sometimes when we visited mum-in-law in the care home, she would look at us and become very distressed, she looked frightened. She had no idea who we were. We felt desperately sorry for her but obviously there was absolutely nothing anyone could do. We considered not visiting because it did nothing but upset her and us. It was something we didn't have to consider for long, she died a few months after moving into the care home.
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Post by Montegriffo on Oct 17, 2022 9:55:20 GMT
My parent sitting yesterday was made special by another batch of dad's old cine film coming back from the digitiser.
45 mins of moving images going back to my parent's wedding. Clips from Singapore, Malta and Germany as well as camping holidays to Italy via Austria and the Alps and St Tropez beach vacations. No sound but lots of places and faces to recognise. My grandfather Monty visiting Singapore to see the new baby (my sister). Dad dirt tracking the MG Midget in time trials against E type Jags, Austin Healeys, Volvo P1800s, Corvette Stingrays etc.
I was giving a running commentary as best I could hoping for some input from mum but nothing.
It's heartbreaking.
It's also really frustrating as there's so much I could learn about my parent's early life that is lost now. I wish I'd asked a lot more questions to both of them when I had the chance.
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Post by Handyman on Oct 17, 2022 10:40:02 GMT
Your mum has my sympathy Handyman, as indeed you do. Sometimes when we visited mum-in-law in the care home, she would look at us and become very distressed, she looked frightened. She had no idea who we were. We felt desperately sorry for her but obviously there was absolutely nothing anyone could do. We considered not visiting because it did nothing but upset her and us. It was something we didn't have to consider for long, she died a few months after moving into the care home. Thank You Red Because of Covid I have only been able to see her twice over the last three years, it is a long drive 600-mile round trip so wife and I stay in a hotel for a couple nights, my sister visits her on most Mondays, if possible, she will contact me later to update me. We hope to go up to see her in early November before the weather gets too bad, being frank I don't like seeing her just staring into space, but one bright moment we now have a new grandson born last Sunday I sent a photo of him to my sister's phone, she showed Mum and she smiled briefly. |
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Post by seniorcitizen007 on Oct 20, 2022 3:36:58 GMT
In the 1960s my brother worked in a geriatric hospital in an isolated part of the Lake District. 3 weeks after he started working there one of the staff told him that during the ten years he'd been working there he'd killed over 400 patients ... and that some of the other staff were also engaging in the same behaviour. My brother was expected to be "part of the team". Killing of patients by staff .. and sometimes by other patients (encouraged by the staff) was not uncommon in these old style large geriatric hospitals.
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Post by colbops on Oct 20, 2022 20:19:53 GMT
In the 1960s my brother worked in a geriatric hospital in an isolated part of the Lake District. 3 weeks after he started working there one of the staff told him that during the ten years he'd been working there he'd killed over 400 patients ... and that some of the other staff were also engaging in the same behaviour. My brother was expected to be "part of the team". Killing of patients by staff .. and sometimes by other patients (encouraged by the staff) was not uncommon in these old style large geriatric hospitals. You've been warned about not taking your pills senior |
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