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Post by piglet on Apr 28, 2023 15:34:27 GMT
I had reason to think back to my early twenties today, and recalled an existential crisis. I was 24 or five, got off the phone to popsie, and was depressed, it was the same old nonsense. Even at that early age it felt like life was a loop, the same thing over and over. Today life is a grind, i know what will happen before it does, i just do it. Probably mildly depressed. Can smell a home made defrosting curry. Thats better, curry, pasta solves everything.
It is isnt it? There is nothing else, we go where weve been before.
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Post by Orac on Apr 28, 2023 16:09:21 GMT
I would call that layer of our being The World or The Devil.
Try writing a story along the lines of what you would like to see instead. You may feel your heart lift.
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Post by besoeker3 on Apr 28, 2023 17:17:29 GMT
I had reason to think back to my early twenties today, and recalled an existential crisis. I was 24 or five, got off the phone to popsie, and was depressed, it was the same old nonsense. Even at that early age it felt like life was a loop, the same thing over and over. Today life is a grind, i know what will happen before it does, i just do it. Probably mildly depressed. Can smell a home made defrosting curry. Thats better, curry, pasta solves everything. It is isnt it? There is nothing else, we go where weve been before. Surely not? Family life, children, travel, business, friends ? |
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Post by Red Rackham on Apr 29, 2023 0:01:44 GMT
I had reason to think back to my early twenties today, and recalled an existential crisis. I was 24 or five, got off the phone to popsie, and was depressed, it was the same old nonsense. Even at that early age it felt like life was a loop, the same thing over and over. Today life is a grind, i know what will happen before it does, i just do it. Probably mildly depressed. Can smell a home made defrosting curry. Thats better, curry, pasta solves everything. It is isnt it? There is nothing else, we go where weve been before. That's rather depressing. Life can be a struggle, tbh I'm not much of psychologist and I don't want to assume anything so I'm not going to give you all that 'lifes what you make it' bullshit. Hang in there piglet, tbh you sound quite sassy, and I quite like sassy. |
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Post by piglet on Apr 29, 2023 11:24:49 GMT
My partner has serious illnesses, shes not really there. Itsd more than that though, i felt like this from an early age on and off. I have everything, i need nowt theres no winning.Im sure i need to become a hermit, all the suffering on tv is too much, i watch videos of monks, i could do that, i believe, this world is a dog hole. We are what we think, i should fill my mind with good things, thanks for the support.
How do you lift yourselves?
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Post by besoeker3 on Apr 29, 2023 16:12:17 GMT
My partner has serious illnesses, shes not really there. Itsd more than that though, i felt like this from an early age on and off. I have everything, i need nowt theres no winning.Im sure i need to become a hermit, all the suffering on tv is too much, i watch videos of monks, i could do that, i believe, this world is a dog hole. We are what we think, i should fill my mind with good things, thanks for the support. How do you lift yourselves? I don't if this helps. About three a years ago I was seriously ill to the point that hospital doctor was dubious whether or not I was going to make it. Now, three years tater, I still have issues but I appreciate can do. We walk quite a lot, visits friends etc. In short, we socialise. You? |
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Post by piglet on Apr 30, 2023 12:26:36 GMT
I walk my dog daily, sdometimes twice a day, play walking football, a player has a band, friends in Witchford, Stratford, in touch with old work mates. Im an introvert, my type loses energy by socialising, ive timed it, its about an hour, then i just want to go home, and will do. I love being alone, it re- energises me, im not lonely. Mostly i hate going out, a warm evening reading or watching the stars come out does me.
My own company is first class, i cant make small talk, i will ask a stranger if they believe in god, or some such. You could mistake me for an extrovert, for an hour i can do whatever with the best, then i become silent, morose. I get morose when i think too deeply, thats what the problem is, the end thought is always bad, unless there is more.....
Describe your personality Beo. What did it feel like to have a brush with mortality? Did it change you, and if so how?
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Post by Bentley on Apr 30, 2023 13:10:34 GMT
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Post by Ripley on Apr 30, 2023 14:50:13 GMT
I walk my dog daily, sdometimes twice a day, play walking football, a player has a band, friends in Witchford, Stratford, in touch with old work mates. Im an introvert, my type loses energy by socialising, ive timed it, its about an hour, then i just want to go home, and will do. I love being alone, it re- energises me, im not lonely. Mostly i hate going out, a warm evening reading or watching the stars come out does me. My own company is first class, i cant make small talk, i will ask a stranger if they believe in god, or some such. You could mistake me for an extrovert, for an hour i can do whatever with the best, then i become silent, morose. I get morose when i think too deeply, thats what the problem is, the end thought is always bad, unless there is more..... Describe your personality Beo. What did it feel like to have a brush with mortality? Did it change you, and if so how? I'm sorry that you're going through this. I'm an introvert too. A common misconception about us is that we're anti-social, and we're not. We just need a fair amount of alone time to recover mental energy, I suppose. I've read that the antidote to depression is to change one's inner monologue, the things we tell ourselves. If some negative thoughts are particularly compelling, repeatedly occupying your mind and affecting your mood adversely, I find what works for me is to ration those thoughts to a very short time limit, say five minutes, and then force myself to focus elsewhere on something different. I don't mean to suggest that this is an easy quick fix. It isn't. For me, it's a matter of practicality. I have an ongoing insurmountable negative issue that cannot be solved or avoided. Giving it too much space in my head only makes me miserable. I don't like to feel that way. Choosing to manage how much time I allow it to affect me is the only way I can exert any control over it. Over time - months - I find myself more and more able to bypass the worrisome thing. I choose to think less and less about it because thinking about it never produces good results. Another coping mechanism that can diverts my negative thinking is to find a project and work through it, or immerse myself in a good book. 'Hope this helps. |
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Post by besoeker3 on Apr 30, 2023 15:04:32 GMT
I walk my dog daily, sdometimes twice a day, play walking football, a player has a band, friends in Witchford, Stratford, in touch with old work mates. Im an introvert, my type loses energy by socialising, ive timed it, its about an hour, then i just want to go home, and will do. I love being alone, it re- energises me, im not lonely. Mostly i hate going out, a warm evening reading or watching the stars come out does me. My own company is first class, i cant make small talk, i will ask a stranger if they believe in god, or some such. You could mistake me for an extrovert, for an hour i can do whatever with the best, then i become silent, morose. I get morose when i think too deeply, thats what the problem is, the end thought is always bad, unless there is more..... Describe your personality Beo. What did it feel like to have a brush with mortality? Did it change you, and if so how? Did I have a brush with mortality? Not really - I had no idea about anything at that point. It was quite a few weeks later that my wife and my nurse explained.That was about three years ago. And yes, it has changed m quite a lot. One of the problems is speech. I had to have a speech therapist for some weeks and I still have problems with finding even quite simple words. One of the things I like about forums like this is I can use text than aurally or even use an alternative word. A challenge but I am hanging in there. Just another wee snippet. One of pleasures that gave me me was the dog. He kept an eye on me.  |
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Post by piglet on May 1, 2023 13:42:30 GMT
Thats a nice one beo, it reminds me of a the welsh colly i had some years ago. I didnt mean physical changes, but more psychological ones. If you were not aware you might be dying, the effect wont have kicked in. What you think is important Ripley, you sound disciplined. Its hard for me, my mind is constantly active, its like driving a fast car, keeping it on the road, does your mind race? Apparently , i dont know if its true, its bizarre if it is, that some people dont think all the time.
When i get a chain of bad thoughts, its bad, everything comes and goes. Maybe knowing everything is temporary helps a lot. Jesus, from being nailed to the cross to dying took three and a half hours, if it was me id be looking at my wrist watch, if i could not, id ask someone what the time is. That was a joke.
Bentley, have read all about Buddhism, i agree with it, how could one not. The two things that seem odd is that it teaches that upon death, not to go into the light, and that how you die is more important than the life you have lived.
That to pass onto a better world you need to die calmly, not in an extreme emotional state.
Fat chance of that. Are you familiar with that? I look into most mystical things, im into I CHING at the moment.
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Post by Bentley on May 1, 2023 14:03:37 GMT
Thats a nice one beo, it reminds me of a the welsh colly i had some years ago. I didnt mean physical changes, but more psychological ones. If you were not aware you might be dying, the effect wont have kicked in. What you think is important Ripley, you sound disciplined. Its hard for me, my mind is constantly active, its like driving a fast car, keeping it on the road, does your mind race? Apparently , i dont know if its true, its bizarre if it is, that some people dont think all the time. When i get a chain of bad thoughts, its bad, everything comes and goes. Maybe knowing everything is temporary helps a lot. Jesus, from being nailed to the cross to dying took three and a half hours, if it was me id be looking at my wrist watch, if i could not, id ask someone what the time is. That was a joke. Bentley, have read all about Buddhism, i agree with it, how could one not. The two things that seem odd is that it teaches that upon death, not to go into the light, and that how you die is more important than the life you have lived. That to pass onto a better world you need to die calmly, not in an extreme emotional state. Fat chance of that. Are you familiar with that? I look into most mystical things, im into I CHING at the moment. I’m not sure whether Buddhism does that Piglet but the thing is that you can cherry pick parts of Buddhism to explain human angst and use them . Buddhism,imo like other religions puts the cart before horse and depends on intuition and epiphany but has nuggets of truth even to the casual observer. I spent a long time being a student of a student of Dan Docherty. A scholar of Chinese philosophy and Tai chi. Tai chi is based on Taoist principles especially yin and yang. I have read the tai chi classics but not studied any other Taoist writings ie I Ching. However I use the Yin Yang principles to explain a lot of what I see and feel. What it has taught me us that there are no absolutes . Docherty was an extraordinary man both physically and mentally. He was the only genius that I have ever ( knowingly) met. He had a profound effect on his students , friends and enemies but he did have some serious personal demons . I find comfort in that . |
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Post by Ripley on May 1, 2023 16:43:32 GMT
Thats a nice one beo, it reminds me of a the welsh colly i had some years ago. I didnt mean physical changes, but more psychological ones. If you were not aware you might be dying, the effect wont have kicked in. What you think is important Ripley, you sound disciplined. Its hard for me, my mind is constantly active, its like driving a fast car, keeping it on the road, does your mind race? Apparently , i dont know if its true, its bizarre if it is, that some people dont think all the time. When i get a chain of bad thoughts, its bad, everything comes and goes. Maybe knowing everything is temporary helps a lot. Jesus, from being nailed to the cross to dying took three and a half hours, if it was me id be looking at my wrist watch, if i could not, id ask someone what the time is. That was a joke. Bentley, have read all about Buddhism, i agree with it, how could one not. The two things that seem odd is that it teaches that upon death, not to go into the light, and that how you die is more important than the life you have lived. That to pass onto a better world you need to die calmly, not in an extreme emotional state. Fat chance of that. Are you familiar with that? I look into most mystical things, im into I CHING at the moment. I don't know if I would describe it as racing, but I have the sort of mind that sometimes won't shut down when I need to sleep. It bounces around all over the place contemplating hypothetical scenarios. Luckily my practical side can sometimes temper my tendency towards anxiety. I'm not a particularly disciplined person, but more and more I find Life's challenges easier to deal with if I try to put them in perspective by looking at degrees of risk/probability rather than assuming that all risk/probabilities are equal. For those challenges that are impossible to deal with, the ones over which I have no control, I put them in a box at the back of my mind and only allow myself to take them out and peek at them briefly now and then for the sake of my wellbeing. I don't always manage to put them away for as long as I should, but trying to makes me feel that even if I have no control over the big bad issue itself, I do have some control over my response to it. |
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Post by besoeker3 on May 1, 2023 20:20:56 GMT
Thats a nice one beo, it reminds me of a the welsh colly i had some years ago. I didnt mean physical changes, but more psychological ones. If you were not aware you might be dying, the effect wont have kicked in. What you think is important Ripley, you sound disciplined. Its hard for me, my mind is constantly active, its like driving a fast car, keeping it on the road, does your mind race? Apparently , i dont know if its true, its bizarre if it is, that some people dont think all the time. Without I am aware that I am dying and sooner rather than later. I can't fix that. I just have to accept it. |
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Post by piglet on May 2, 2023 13:55:19 GMT
I will look up Dan Docherty Bentley. Bad issues eh Ripley, i wonder what they could be, you sound like a sensor, a person that takes more notice of external things rather than inner. If its a health thing, ive been there, i had an illness that had a twenty five per cent death rate every ten years. Then, miraculously, it disappeared, and it was degenerative. I hardly take medication, ive got boxes of pills.
On finding out my life was limited it was a case of o well, im going to die anyway. My mother died of cancer, and her attitude was why me? I didnt do that, that makes no sense. I dont believe we die anyway. Like Beo says, acceptance, whatever the problem is, cuts suffering by 90 per cent, hanging on is the problem.
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